Silverware conspiracy theory....

I have entered some kind of silverware twilight zone. A land where pieces of silverware vanish - never to be seen or heard from again. It started several weeks ago with the spoons. They were the first to go. My teaspoons slowly but surely started disappearing. Now it seems the forks decided to get in on the act. Before you know it, the butter knives will think this looks like fun and start leaving me too. Followed by the tablespoons,the steak knives, spatulas and corn on the cob holders. My can opener already is never in the same place I know I left him in. This great abandonment by my tableware has me puzzled. I take good care of them - I clean them in the antibacterial cycle in the dishwasher so they don't obsess about germs. I put them away in their nice little separate compartments. Heck - they even have their own drawer - aptly titled the silverware drawer. What more can I do? Maybe they are getting angry with me because their neighbor, the junk drawer, has too many occupants already and the population grows daily. Maybe they don't like it when cute little sticky hands grab them by the neck and bang them on the table. Maybe I was a little too stern when I told the few remaining spoons that I would be forced to go to Walmart and buy some shiny new replacements for them if they didn't stop disappearing. I guess the forks over heard this and didn't like the sounds of my threats because shortly after that is when they started jumping ship with their spoon friends. I do have a personal theory. I think they are all at some every day silverware party - drinking, laughing at me, and dancing with all of our missing socks. In the meantime, I will patiently wait for their return.