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Tuesday, October 27, 2009

X marks the spot

I'm not sure if you can read the above picture, but it is Joey's Kindergarten report card. He brought it home in his folder the other day. At first I was so excited! I'm thinking to myself I can't wait to look at it! I am so proud of how well he is doing in school! His social skills are great, his teachers really like him, he's been doing some great learning activities and his walking is getting better and better every day! As I started to read his report card, my emotions slowly deflated. Knows letter sounds...x. Knows letter names...x. Uses sounds to make words...x. Understands math concepts...x. Writes name...x. Counts objects correctly...x. I'm thinking "x"? What kind of grade is "x"? It turns out that "x" stands for "not evaluated at this time". I'm not sure what I was thinking...I guess I should have prepared myself somewhat before I looked at his report card. I guess I didn't know what his first kindergarten report card would be like. I was just excited to see it. I don't know if I thought I would see A's and B's like on John and Tommie's report cards...or E's, S's and G's for excellent, satisfactory and good. I don't know. All I know is I was sooooo excited that Joey brought home his first report card! And I can't leave out that he got two G's for music and two S's in P.E. Yay Joey! But it was seeing all those x's that really brought me down. Why is it when things seem to be going so great for your child there always seems to be one word, one phrase or one action that just knocks the wind out of you? Not evaluated at this time. Of course he can't be evaluated for these skills at this time...he is unable to do them. This is what hit me like a ton of bricks. When will he be able to be evaluated for these skills? When he is 10? 15? 20? 30? 40? I know he is unable to perform the same tasks as his kindergarten peers - but he has a great ability to learn. We have high hopes that someday he will be able to do these things. It's just kind of scary to not know when that someday will be. When you are raising a child, regardless of their abilities, there are joys and triumphs and unfortunately some sorrows too. Hopefully the joys and triumphs far outweigh the sorrow. This report card called life is full of A's, B's, G's, S's, E's and of course X's too. We just have to do the best we can. A friend of ours has this saying in her email signature: "Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending." So that's what I'm gonna do.


  1. Thanks for sharing!
    Today we were at story time at the library and a little girl who was just learning to walk and talk toddled over to Emma's carseat as i was strapping her in and pointed and said "Be?" and her mom said, "Yes, that's a baby!" After playing the "how old is she?" game, we realized that Emma is actually 2 weeks older than this little girl ...
    We all choose joy every day, but thanks for your honesty in this post. It gave me permission to be a little sad for a minute and then move on :)
    Give Joey a hug for me!

  2. Aw Rachelle, I know you're super proud of Joey just for having the ability to attend kindergarten! Just think, if it was 15 years before now he may not have even had that option, right?
    He will learn! Maybe not as quickly and maybe not as completely as an average child, but in the end, no matter how educated he becomes, he's still going to be your extra special little boy with tons to offer the world!

    Justine :o )

  3. Great post Rachelle...I am right there with you! Vinny is only 15 months and we have just begun to embark on this journey...I am so thankful for you and Joey!

  4. Thanks for posting this. I know you are so proud of Joey! He is obviously a great kid. :)


  5. Rachelle, I'm sorry you had to have such a "downer" moment. But don't let that take the wind out of your sails!! We can give you a huge list of "S"'s and "E"'s for Joey here at Wiggles!! Walking without support, placing shapes in a shape sorter, communicating through body language, and let's not forget Legos!! Joey's time line may be his own, but he is learning and progressing every day! We are so proud of him, too!!!!

  6. Rachelle...I just wanted to say that I am praying for you and will continue to be here to share in the joys of joey!

    I would like to be able to offer some wise words of advise, but all I have is my listening ears and a shoulder to lean on if you ever need one!

    You are doing amazing things with and for Joey, and never doubt that what you are doing is making a huge difference in Joey's life and others you may never know!

  7. Rachelle,
    Cris kinda stole my thoughts...about the "s" and "E"'s Joey gets here!
    Joey brings such joy to me each and every time he WALKS in the door! He can always make the day a little brighter! He's such a blessing to everyone he meets...don't forget that either!! :)

  8. thank you for posting this! i have been feeling discouraged lately that mason won't/can't/hasn't been evaluated signing or even trying to communicate. his audiologist says he's 'stuck' and wonders what we're NOT doing at home. i always wonder if he will ever be able to sign a little bit (i would be happy with 5 signs, if nothing else) or if he will be mostly non-communicative his whole life.... In his PT sessions, he shares them with other children who are severly disabled .. he is the only one who can roll, sit, pull up, etc... but he is also the only one that cannot answer a question.. or tell us what is going on with him.. and it makes me so sad. I am proud of everything that he does and I too have to take it one day at a time. I often need to remind myself that he too is capable of learning so much... but it will be at his own turtle pace. :) I can't dwell on it though.. that won't help him one bit!
    thank you for being so candid! :)



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